Ed, Edd, and Eddy: A Forgotten Fantasy Tale
by Same Ol' G
Summary: Set in a fantasy era, the Eds and the other Peach Creek children meet under completely different circumstances, and get swept up in an adventure beyond their wildest dreams. Alternate Universe.
1. The Beginning

Robert Jenkins: A Forgotten Fantasy Tale

Ed Edd and Eddy are owned by Danny Antonucci and not me. That's basically it for the disclaimer.

It was a warm summer day in the country of Aldebaran. A year ago, the neighboring country of Melbania had eventually signed a peace treaty, ending the war between the two countries. All was peaceful, crime rates were low, the season's harvests had come in bundles, enough for the entire kingdoms. Nothing could have gone wrong, with the exception of one particular town, the town of Renaldo.

"Ed...!" a young girl of about eleven roared, disturbing the tranquility of the village. "Come back here with my scepter!"

Scowling furiously, the girl stomped down the street with a hammer in her hands.

"Sarah, please! Your brother did not take your scepter. He isn't that type of boy!" her best friend Jimmy pleaded. Jimmy was a rather effeminate, timid boy who had the misfortune of being accident-prone. No matter what precautions he took to ensure his safety, poor Jimmy often found himself in some mishap. It was as if some trickster spirit had it out for the lad.

"Yeah? Well then, who did? You? I know Ed did it, he's the most likely suspect. URRGGHH!"

Oddly enough, whenever Sarah got really angry, she would break down and cry, baffling all who saw it happen. "I... sob… just... sniff… want my scepter back..! Wahhhh!"

Seeing this, Jimmy handed the young noble a handkerchief, which she blew into quite loudly. "Sarah, let us go back to the mansion, and search for the scepter there. Okay?" The scepter, in question was a beautiful golden rod with the tip encrusted with a beautiful crimson ruby given to Sarah on her last birthday.

"Okay, Jimmy, let's go back and search there. But if I find that Ed has my scepter, he's going to be in a world of hurt!"

A young man with a peculiar yellow skin tone walked into a jeweler's store. "Ed! How nice to see you, the last time I saw you, you were up to my knee caps! How may I help you?" the store owner asked.

"Uh... I need you to repair this." Ed replied.

"Is this Lady Sarah's ruby scepter? My goodness! What happened to it?" the store owner asked, scratching his head."

"Well, uh... you see, it was like this..." Ed began to tell the story. "Sarah was sleeping, and I broke my training sword fighting the ferocious Nose Dragons of the Pecan Region! Quite vicious they are, as they brutalize chickens and other small tasty birds! I was cornered, so I snuck into Sarah's room, grabbed her magic scepter which shoots mystic soap powerful enough to destroy the Nose Dragons, and came out victorious, as I beat the dragons' evil nostrils with the rod. But evil pixies must have played a trick on me, because the dust cleared, there was a tree where the Nose Dragon once stood, and the scepter was broken in two! If Sarah had seen it, it would've been worse the nasty Gingersnapes that reside in the western woods, where the Peppermint Witch resides!" the boy explained, with sweat trailing down his face, recalling that horrible memory.

"Um, young master Ed, if I may be so bold to ask, but have you been eating spoiled food again?" the store owner asked flatly.

"Uh... I might have, why? I'm fourteen, I think I can make decisions for myself! So, uh... can you get it fixed?"

"Sure thing! Repairing price is two thousand gold!"

"Gotcha!" Ed said, dropping fifteen coins worth two hundred gold each on the counter. "The extra one thousand is for you personally!"

"You're a good kid, Ed! It'll be done in an hour." the shop keeper replied while walking in the back room of the store. Ed sat down and looked at the fan, dozing off.

In a back alley of the village, a group of kids were congregating, they were known as the Peach Creek Gang. They called themselves this due to the fact that they lived, well in a part of the village called Peach Creek.

"This sucks!" Eddy yelled.

Eddy was the self proclaimed leader of the Peach Creek Gang. He felt it was only right as he was the main one coming up with several ideas (or scams) for the crew to attain fame and riches. Unfortunately, a great amount of his ideas tended to fail miserably; most often invoking the ire of the townspeople. Very rarely did a scam of his work. However, the Peach Creek Gang all regarded each other as equals, so they accepted Eddy as leader to merely humor him.

"What sucks, Eddy?" Nazz asked. At the age of thirteen, Nazz was the object of desire for the neighborhood boys. With her deep blue eyes, natural pouting lips, and golden blonde hair, she seemed to almost carry a regal bearing about her, but with her rough-and-tumble tomboy ways, she just saw herself as one of the guys.

"Every time Double D and I come up with a plan, it always backfires! When we tried to sell peaches, we failed! When we tried to sell water, we failed! When we tried to sell wooden toys, we failed! We can't do jack shit!" he said.

"Language please, Eddy! But I just thought of something brilliant! How about... Peach flavored water? Think about it! If people hate the taste of water, and people don't feel like breaking their teeth on peach pits, then how about... peach flavored water? Tasty, refreshing, and nutritious!" Double D beamed with pride at his new invention. Double D's real name was Eddward, but Eddy hated it, because of his own name being Edward, so he called him Double D instead, and it sat well with everybody else. Double D was the brains of the group, a natural genius at merely the age of thirteen. As with most geniuses, Double D came with a few eccentricities, namely his black sock-like hat, which he never takes off, not even when he slept.

"Double D! You're a genius! Why the hell didn't think of it before?" Eddy said, happy that for once, the Peach Street Gang were about to do something right!

"Hey dorks, you finally did it! You came up with something that might actually work!" Kevin said. Kevin was more or less Eddy's rival, and was the first person to join the gang. Kevin, like most other boys, including Eddy, had a thing for Nazz, who was but one factor that fuels their rivalry.

"Indeed! Rolf is impressed and currently in awe of your strange concoction!" Rolf eyes widened with amazement. Rolf was from another country, known as Yeshmiyek, a land known for its bizarre culture and customs. He was the tallest of the bunch, almost meeting eye to eye with most adults. Rolf joined the gang after a chance meeting with Kevin, who taught him much about life in Aldebaran.

"You should be, Rolf! This is gonna be our moneymaker!" Eddy exclaimed, drooling at the thought of the money, fame, and women he'd have once the flavored water sold. "How much of this stuff do you have made, Double D?"

"About, ah... let's see… Two gallons, Eddy!"

"Awesome! Watch the dough roll in guys! We'll be rich in no time!" Eddy exclaimed excitedly.

"Yeah!" They all agreed in unison. Finally, things were starting to look up for the Peach Street Gang.


	2. Another Day, Another Lost Dollar

Ed, Edd, and Eddy: A Forgotten Fantasy Tale

Chapter 2

A crowd of people began to gather around a stage in the town square. The stage was primarily used for announcements by the king's messengers, but this time around, the Peach Creek Gang was using it to sell their brand new flavored water.

"Attention, ladies and gentlemen! We, the good people who brought to you "Mystical Water" and "Magic Fruit", now bring something that'll rejuvenate you! It'll put some pep in your step! We guarantee it'll knock your socks off!" Eddy preached.

"Not interested kid! That "Mystical Water" you sold before wasn't mystical at all!" a man shouted.

"Yeah, and the same goes for that "Magic Fruit!" Bah! Magical my ass!" a woman added.

"Piss off, you stupid kids!"

"Now, now, now, no need for all this hostility, people! We're serious this time! This right here is a nifty little tonic that would even make the elves jealous that they couldn't come up with it!" Eddy took out a small bottle and held it out to the people. "Why the hell is it fizzing?" asked the same man from before. "Why is it fizzing?" Eddy queried. He then turned to Double D, "Hey, Double D, why the hell is this stuff fizzing?"

"It's carbonation, Eddy."

"What?"

"Carbonation."

"Not following ya, Double D."

"Oh forget it! Just sell it."

"Well, now that it's all fizzy, what the hell do call it?"

"I don't know, Eddy, Peach Fuzz?"

"That's it!" Eddy turned back around, facing the crowd. "Here it is, citizens of Renaldo! Peach Fuzz! It'll pop your top! Jolt your bolts! Kick you into high gear for the rest of the day! Start your day off with Peach Fuzz!" But to no avail, the crowd still seemed uninterested. Eddy began to sweat.

"Eddy, you dork! I should've known this wasn't gonna work!" Kevin angrily whispered.

"Well, I don't see you coming up with anything, genius!" Eddy muttered. "So, would anybody like to try this out? C'mon, is there gonna be a lucky volunteer?" Eddy pleaded. A little girl, maybe a few years younger than the gang, slowly made her way up to the stage.

"I'll try it," the girl timidly answered, "I'm thirsty!"

"No, Alice! It could be dangerous!" a woman, who appeared to be the girl's mother, pleaded.

"It's okay, mommy."

Eddy grinned, excited that somebody actually wanted to try the drink. Double D was happy as well, a slight smile making its way on his face. Kevin, Nazz, and Rolf looked on in wonder. "Here ya go, little girl!" Eddy handed her the bottle. She took a swig of the bottle, and perked up.

"Mmm! That was really good, mister!" The crowd was in awe.

"Hey, maybe I will take a bottle!" a guy said.

"Yeah, me too!" A woman cried out. "How much does it cost?"

"Hell, I'll take two!"

"Give me a bottle!"

"Bout damn time you kids did something right!" an old man muttered, "I'll take one o' them there drinks!"

"Yeah, me too!" chimed his equally old friend.

Eddy could barely contain his excitement. Man, he was gonna _drown _in gold. But unfortunately, the little girl who tested their drink held her stomach and fell down on her knees groaning, hushing the crowd.

"I don't feel so… good…" she uttered before vomiting on the stage.

"Oh my God, they poisoned her!" the crowd screamed as the mother ran on stage to grab her sick daughter, who was now crying.

"Get outta here, you punks!"

"You belong in jail, you little snot-nosed bastards!"

"Cough, hack! Get them!" the drunken old man yelled, throwing a peach, hitting Eddy square in the face. The Peach Creek Gang took this opportunity to run.

"Goddamnit, you dorks! What the hell happened to that little girl? Why the hell did she get sick?!" Kevin yelled.

"I wish I knew, *huff*, *wheeze*! Maybe her stomach couldn't handle the carbonation! *Wheeze*" Double D replied.

"Rolf is saddened by another failure!" Rolf added.

"Guys, let's stop arguing! Like, there's always gonna be another chance!" Nazz said.

"Thanks, Nazz." Double D stopped running to catch his breath. He never was the most physically capable kid around, as his greater strength was his mind. He looked behind him and noticed that the crowd stopped chasing him.

"Hey *huff*, fellows! We're in the clear. The villagers aren't chasing after us anymore!" He breathlessly yelled.

Eddy sighed, "That's a relief!" he noted, leaning against a tree to catch his own breath.

"Whatever, you dork! That's it, Eddy. For the past three years, ever since you've been leader, every damn scam you've ever come up with has failed! What happened to the Peach Creek Gang being famous, huh? We're a joke thanks to you!" Kevin yelled, fed up with their constant failures.

"And for someone to be so damn smart, why does everything you make either blow up or kill somebody, huh, Double Dork?" Double D lowered his head, ashamed. Eddy however was angry, balling his fists up.

"Kevin, cut it out!" Nazz said, surprising Kevin. "At least they're trying! We've never seen you do anything but complain!"

"But Nazz…" Kevin tried, to no avail, as the girl turned her head, walking away from him with an "Hmph!" She walked over towards Double D, who was fighting the urge to cry.

"Hey, D. Don't listen to Kevin. You're a great inventor!" She said. Double D lifted his head up to look at her.

"Really? You mean that?"

"Yeah, D! I know I'd never think up half the stuff you could in a hundred years! You're a genius, dude!"

"Thanks, Nazz." Double D gave her a faint smile.

Kevin spit on the ground, and to no one in particular declared, "I gotta take a leak." He walked off, muttering, "Stupid dorks, always screwing up something and I'm the one to get yelled at." Kevin grabbed a rock and threw it, hoping to break a window. Instead he heard the rock hit something, which fell to the ground with a thud.

"What the…?" Kevin ran over to find out who, or what he accidentally hit. There he saw a kid around his age, if not a little older, lying on the ground in a daze.

"Ow… Ed's head hurts…" the kid uttered.

"Oh shit…" Kevin whispered. He was about to turn around and run off, when he took notice of the golden scepter on the ground_. 'Man, is that real? Nah, can't be. It looks real… Might even sell for a pretty penny…'_ Kevin thought.

He grabbed the scepter out of Ed's hands, "Sorry man," he apologized insincerely before running off with the scepter, "But a guy's gotta eat."

A few minutes later, Ed got up off of the ground. "Oh, no! The scepter! Sarah will kill me!" he screamed to himself. "Where did he go? Where did he go?" Looking to his left and right, he saw nobody around. "Oh no, Sarah's gonna kill me… I want to live!"

He ran out into the street looking around for the kid, only to run into Jimmy… and Sarah right behind him.

"Ow, watch where you're going, you oafish brute!" Jimmy said, dusting himself off before looking up at the person who rudely knocked him down. "Ed?"

Ed gulped, "Uh oh…"

"ED!" Sarah grabbed Ed by his collar, shaking him, "What did you do with my scepter?!" she yelled, grabbing the attention of the villagers around them. "Where is it?!"

Ed bit his lip, trying to think, which unfortunately, wasn't exactly his forte. "Uh, uh… Ed took it for training, baby sister! I broke it fending off the Nose Dragons of the Pecan Region!"

Sarah wasn't exactly too understanding of her brother's harrowing battle with the Nose Dragons, as she punched him square in the face, knocking him on the ground. "GRRR…! Ed, you idiot!"

"Ouch…! Ed went to get it fixed, making it even better than ever, but then a ninja stole-" Ed's adventure was cut short by Sarah punching him in the stomach.

"I'll kill you!" she howled, choking the poor boy. Jimmy pried Sarah off of Ed.

"Sarah! You can't kill your brother!" her pale companion pleaded. Sarah took a moment to compose herself, and Ed struggled to pick himself up.

"ED!" she yelled, bringing him to full attention. "You got until sundown to get my scepter back, or I'm telling mom and dad! You got that?!"

"Uh, uh, uh, yes, tyrannical baby sister whom Ed loves very dearly. I'll get that scepter back if it costs me my life!" Ed declared, running off in search of the thief.

"That idiot…" Sarah said.

"Sarah…" Jimmy wondered, "I'm surprised you didn't tell your father in the first place."

Sarah sighed, "I'm not telling Dad, because… forget it." Sarah waved off the question as if it were a fly.

Jimmy looked at her, and a small smile crept on the boy's lips, '_She's such a softie." _he thought. The two children sat down and waited for Ed to come back with the scepter.


	3. Apples and Peaches

Chapter 3

Kevin hurriedly ran back over to Peach Creek, where the crew was waiting around. "Hey, guys! Come 'ere, quick!" he yelled.

"What is it, Kevin?" Nazz asked.

"Take a look at this!" he said, raising the golden scepter in the air. The sunlight gleamed off of the ruby encrusted tip.

"Whoa…" The gang all said in awe.

Eddy came running over to Kevin, "Aw, man, Kevin! Have I ever told you how cool you are?" Eddy rubbed his hands, thinking of the money that the scepter could rake in.

"Rolf is indeed impressed with the shiny stick, Kevin!" Rolf added in.

"Beautiful…" Nazz said in a low whisper.

Double D stopped studying the bottle of "Peach Fuzz" to see what all the commotion was about. "What's going on?" He asked.

"Hey, Double D, take a look!" Kevin showed him the scepter.

"Whereupon did you happen to find this?" Double D asked.

"I found it." Kevin replied with a toothy grin.

Double D raised an eyebrow at Kevin, "You didn't _steal _this, did you, Kevin?"

The others looked at Kevin, curiously.

"No, of course not, ah ha hah!" I'm not some thief!" Kevin nervously replied.

"Well, whatever," Eddy cut the silence, making Kevin sigh in relief, "Hey Double D? Can you see if this thing is real?"

Eddy asked. Kevin handed Double D the scepter. "Sure thing, Eddy. I'll be right back." Double D ran back to his "lab", which was actually an abandoned, dilapidated shack where he did his studies.

"Man, Kevin. I gotta say I'm jealous! Seriously! You must have the devil's luck or something to find a scepter lying around." Eddy said, patting Kevin on the back. "But what kinda noble _loses_ something like that? It must've been a really big idiot to misplace something like that."

Kevin laughed, "Y…yeah, a really big idiot it must've been."

Meanwhile, Ed went to the town square, where just an hour ago the Peach Creek gang were attempting to sell their drinks. "Uh, excuse me, mister?" Ed asked a passing villager.

"Yes, what is it?" the man asked, looking at Ed. "Good god, kid? What the hell happened to you? Did'ya get mugged? I bet it was one o' them no good kid gangs. Probably the Peach Creek Gang or them Apple Grove Boys. Good fer nothin' punks."

"Peach Creek Gang?" Ed asked.

"Yeah, the Peach Creek Gang, headed up by this lil' short fella. Bout this high." The man raised his hand up to Ed's chest. "Yeah, him, and then there's this other wierd kid who wears a sock. N' there was this red-head kid too…" the man rambled on.

"Red-head?" Ed perked up. That might have been the kid he saw that snatched the scepter. "Where is he?"

"Oh, I dunno. Little bastards're all over the place. Don't trust em'. They sold some crap to this little girl that ended up makin' her sick. Poor thing. Those punks are gonna get what's comin' to em'." Ed tuned out the man, staring off into the sky. "Hey kid. KID!" The man yelled, drawing Ed back to attention. "Matter o' fact, ask the family of that lil' girl, Alice. They might know somethin'. They live about two houses down that way." The man pointed west. "Look for the name, Grants on the sign outside their house."

Ed thanked the man, and went on about his way. He found the house, reading the sign that sure enough, read 'GRANTS.' Ed knocked on the door three times. A woman, maybe in her late twenties to early thirties answered. "Yes, what is it? How can I help you?" she asked.

Ed explained to her about the stolen scepter, and asked her if she knew anything about the Peach Creek Gang.

"The Peach Creek Gang? Yes, I know of those hoodlums! They poisoned my daughter!" the woman yelled. "They beat you up too, didn't they? Kids these days…" she looked at the black eye and busted lip Ed had, which had really come from his sister punching him. The lump on his forehead had come from the rock that hit him. "I know they hang out somewhere near the creek on the outskirts of town." Ed thanked the woman and headed for the creek.

At the creek, Double D walked out of the little shack with a proud grin on his face. "Eddy, Kevin, Nazz, and Rolf, not only is this scepter real, but it's worth at least five thousand gold!"

At Double D's remark, the gang's eyes nearly popped out of their head.

"F-f-f-five thousand gold?!" Eddy stammered.

"Yes! We're freakin' rich!" Kevin said.

To everyone's surprise, Eddy and Kevin hugged each other, jumping up and down yelling, "We're rich! We're rich!" Eddy and Kevin stopped jumping, looked at each other, and pushed the other off, yelling at each other, "Aw man, get the hell off of me! The hell's wrong with you, man?!" They walked away from each other, making the others laugh.

"Hey!" Eddy said, "If this is worth as much as Double D said it is, then why don't we take our little treasure on down to Marco?" Marco was a famous jewelry collector who operated business in the Market District of town. Sometimes he'd pay a little extra gold depending on what his clients bought to him.

"Marco? Yeah, that's a great idea, Eddy, for once!" Kevin said. "Marco will definitely pay top gold for this here!"

"Ugh, Marco." Nazz said, disgusted. She agreed that Marco was a good businessman, but the man was a lecher. The last time they went to visit Marco, he couldn't keep his eyes off of her. Not to mention his persistence in acquiring her ring.

"Hey, Nazz. You don't have to go if you don't wanna." Kevin said. "Besides, we need a few people here to stand watch just in case those Apple Grove idiots come by." The Apple Grove Boys were the main rivals of the Peach Creek Gang, ever since Eddy's brother left them and formed the Peach Creek Gang. "I figure, me, Rolf, and Eddy head over to the market, while you two keep watch."

Double D was a bit nervous about this idea, for two reasons: One, he had an extreme lack of physical strength that was required to defend their territory. Two, the Apple Grove Boys could overwhelm him and Nazz in numbers. "Uh, Kevin, I dunno…" he spoke up.

"What's the matter, Double D? All those inventions you made, I'm sure one of them are useful in a fight." Kevin assured him.

"Kevin, I invent things to help people, not hurt them!" Double D protested.

"Don't worry so much, Double D!" Nazz said, "If they do come around, I'll give them two reasons to leave!" she said, raising her fists, punching Kevin on the arm.

"Ouch!" Kevin said, rubbing his arm. "You guys will be okay. So Rolf, Eddy, you ready to go?" he asked. Double D gulped nervously.

"Rolf is ready, Kevin!" Rolf said, standing alert.

"Hey, hey, hey, I'm the leader here, so I say when we go!" Eddy yelled.

Kevin rolled his eyes and asked, "So, Mr. Leader, are we ready to go?"

"Yeah, we're ready! Let's get this show on the road guys!" Eddy proclaimed, as he, Kevin, and Rolf made their way to the Market District. Unbeknownst to them, three boys were listening in on their conversation.

"So they're headed over to the market district?" one boy asked.

"You just heard them, Randy!" another boy said. "So what are we gonna do?"

"Mike, you head back. Tell the guys that Eddy, Rolf, and Kevin are headed over to the Market District. Randy, you'll help me deal with those two." The third boy said.

"Hey, Nate, the runt wearin' the sock is gonna be easy to deal with, but I'm not too keen on hittin' a girl, man!" Randy said.

"Don't worry about all that. Let me deal with that." Nate said, grinning.

As Mike left, and the other two were about to make their move, Ed was making his way towards the creek. "Hey, Nate. Who's that?" Randy asked.

"I dunno, man. Never seen him before… Let's stay here, and see what happens…"

Nazz was sleeping against a tree, while Double D was busily fumbling around with something in his lab shack. Ed approached the shack, and stepped on a twig, making Double D turn around, "Ah! Who are you?" he asked nervously, backing up. Reaching for a wrench, he held it up, "Go away! I have a wrench, and I know how to use it!" Double D warned. '_What was Nazz doing? Wait, what if he…?' _

"What did you do to Nazz?" he asked, warily, tightening his grip on the wrench.

"What…?" Ed asked, confused. "Who?"

Double D narrowed his eyes, "The girl outside! What have you done with her, you… you ruffian?!"

Ed scratched his head, and shrugged his shoulders, "I didn't do anything! She's outside, sleeping." he said. He then gasped, "Maybe an evil sorcerer cast a spell on her, making her sleep forevermore until the kiss of a frog wakes her up from her dream!" Ed said. "We gotta do something!"

Double D looked at the boy, confused. "Excuse me, are you alright, by any chance?" he spoke up.

Ed snapped out of his fantasy, looking back at Ed. "Oh yeah, I almost forgot. You guys know anything about a scepter?" Ed asked.

Double D began to sweat, '_Oh no, he's the owner of that scepter? Uh oh…' _

"About that…" Double D was interrupted by a yelp outside. "That sounded like Nazz!" he said, worried. As he and Ed ran outside, they saw Nazz with her hands tied up behind her back and Randy sitting on her. "Oh no, it's Nate and Randy!" Double D said, sweating.

"Who are they?" Ed asked.

"They're part of the Apple Grove Boys!" Double D explained.

"Hey, Double D, it appears you're in a bit of a pickle." Nate laughed. "Hey, big guy, I dunno who you are, but maybe the best thing you can do is run along now. We've got some business to handle." Nate and Randy grinned at Double D, whose knees were quivering.

'_Oh no, I'm in trouble now.' _The timid boy thought.


	4. Rumble In The Creek

Chapter 3

Double D backed up shakily, still tightly gripping onto the wrench.

"Well, big guy? What are you gonna do?" asked Nate.

Inwardly, Nate was hoping that the kid wouldn't join in. He looked like he could be real trouble if he got involved. Randy on the other hand, was a bit braver about the situation. If the kid joined in, he'd simply knock him out, easy. Surprising Double D, Nazz, Randy and Nate, Ed simply stood there, staring at the two kids.

"Alright, man. Don't say we didn't warn ya." Randy laughed, "Here, add a few more bruises to your collection!" He grabbed his stick, which was sturdy enough to hurt somebody with. Randy ran towards Ed and swung at him. Ed blocked the blow, swatting the weapon out of Randy's hand. "Okay! You wanna duke it out man to man? Fine! My old man was a bare knuckle brawler, and everything I know I learned from him!" Randy backed away from Ed and got into a boxing stance.

"Oh man, that kid's in for it, now," Nate laughed. "Randy throws one hell of a right hook." He then turned to Double D, "So while those two are playing, what do you think we should do, hmm?" he asked. Double D stood back in fear, still clutching the wrench. Nate grabbed a pair of brass knuckles from his pocket. "I promise I won't hurt you too bad."

Randy was having the time of his life. His opponent was as slow as an injured donkey, and he was already injured, judging from his black eye, busted lip and the bruise on his forehead. This was going to be easy. Randy punched at the air a few times, warming himself up. He looked over at Ed, who had taken his jacket off.

"So I see you're getting ready, big guy."

Nate looked over at Randy, "Be careful, Randy." He uttered.

"What? Man, don't worry. I got this in the bag!" Randy yelled back.

"You're not supposed to hurt girls." Ed said.

"Huh? What the hell are you talking about?"

Ed pointed over to Nazz who was tied up. "Why did you hurt her?!" Ed yelled, seething. Ed, growing up, was always taught to respect women, and to never lay a hand on them in a harmful way. Seeing Nazz tied up, with Randy sitting on her like she was a chair and not a person really angered Ed.

"You're annoying! It's time to shut you up!" Randy yelled, running towards Ed.

Ed tried to grab Randy, but the smaller boy ducked, and countered with a punch to Ed's side. Ed grabbed his side in pain, leaving his face open, which Randy took advantage of, hitting Ed in the face with a quick jab. Ed stumbled back from the hit. As he looked up, Randy was about to hit him again. Ed ducked and grabbed his opponent, taking him completely by surprise. He slammed the boy hard on the ground, making Randy lose his breath. Ed was about to grab Randy again, but he rolled over and got up, stepping back in the process.

'_Damn, that hurt!' _Randy thought, regaining his breath.

Nate chased after Double D. Despite him not being the greatest of runners, Double D had kept a nice distance between him and Nate.

"Come back here, you little wuss! Let's play!" Nate said. "You realize I'm gonna hurt you even more because of you making me run like this!"

Double D summoned all the strength he could muster in order to outrun Nate. Double D's mind raced frantically, '_Oh, dear, oh dear, oh dear! This is not good! Not good! There's got to be something I can use… Ah ha! That's it!'_

Double D ran back to the shack, and locked it. He took the time to catch his breath. "Huff… wheeze… Where… is it…?" He looked around the small shack to find what he was looking for.

Nate pounded on the locked door, "Come outta there, you chicken!" he bellowed.

Double D opened up every cabinet he could. "Come on… where could I have left it?!" His thinking was soon interrupted by Nate's fist punching through the window.

"Double Dork, you've got one second to open up this damn door! Or I'm coming in there! And you don't want me to come in there!" he warned.

Double D looked in the last cabinet, and found just what he was looking for. "Okay, I'm coming out!" he said in a sing song voice, grinning mischievously.

Randy was surprised. Ed seemed to have gotten used to his speed as he dodged damn near every punch that he threw at him.

"Guess I underestimated you, big guy. You're a hell of a lot quicker than I thought!"

Ed ran towards him full speed, and Randy saw his left hand tense up. _'He's gonna strike with that hand. Okay.'_ The young brawler thought of the appropriate counter.But to Randy's surprise, Ed feinted with his left, and as Randy instinctively dodged, Ed's right fist connected with his jaw, knocking the boy out cold.

"Woo hoo!" he heard Nazz cheer. "Now, big guy, why don't you be a gentleman and untie me?" Ed did as he was told and untied Nazz. After moving her wrists around, she kissed Ed on the cheek, making him blush heavily. "Thanks, dude. Now let's go help out D." she said, running over to where Nate and Double D were. Ed followed closely behind her.

Double D looked at the object in question. He had made it a while ago, but swore never to use it unless it was completely necessary. He wondered how the big kid had fared against Randy. Did he beat him? His answers were about to be answered as he heard Nate scream in pain.

"What's going on now?" he asked as he tentatively opened the door. "Now that window will have to be fixed…" he muttered.

As Double D turned around, he noticed that Ed had lifted Nate off of the ground and Nazz punched him in the stomach.

"Oof! C'mon, lemme go! I won't come back, I swear!" Nate pleaded.

"Huh?" Double D looked in amazement as the former tough was held in the air by Ed, begging to be free.

"Hey Double D! Just in time!" Nazz said, excitedly. She then noticed the item in Double D's hand. "What's that?"

"Oh it's a Pit Shooter, Nazz. It shoots peach pits at high speeds. I modified a slingshot so that the pit could be ejected by pulling this trigger here…" Double D pointed to the trigger. "Also, I added this little aiming crosshair so that…"

Nazz interrupted him, "Okay, okay, D. Let me see it?" she asked gingerly.

Double D handed it to her. "What do you plan to do with it?"

Nazz gave off a completely innocent smile, masking her intention. She walked over to Ed, and whispered something in his ear, giggling. Ed joined her in giggling. A few minutes later, Nate and Randy found themselves in their boxers, tied up, and hanging upside down from a tree branch. They soon felt the stinging pain of peach pits hitting their bare skin. Nazz was sitting down on a stump, with a small pile of peach pits besides her, and the Pit Shooter in her hand, shooting at the two boys, laughing.

"Guess this teaches you not to mess with Peach Creek now doesn't it?" She took two more shots at them.

"We're sorry! OW!" Randy apologized as a peach pit bounced off of his head.

"We'll never mess with you guys again! We swear. Oh fu…!" Nate winced in pain as a peach pit hit him square in his jewels.

"You bitch!" Randy yelled.

"Wrong word, dude." Nazz said calmly, as she placed a pit into the Shooter and shot him in the forehead, making him see stars.

"So that scepter belonged to you?" Double D asked.

"No, it's not mine. It belongs to my baby sister, Sarah." Ed said.

"I see." Double D looked downwards. "As I was saying before that terrible commotion, I know where it is."

Ed perked up. "You do?"

"Yes, my friends Eddy, Kevin, and Rolf are taking it to the Market District… to… oh no!" Double said, panicking.

"What? Where is it?"

"They're headed to the Market District to sell the Scepter to a man named Marco! You must hurry!" Double D exclaimed. "Thanks for your assistance!" he yelled as Ed ran off towards the Market District.


	5. Trouble At The Market

Chapter 5

Mike ran back to the Apple Grove, panting. "Hey guys…" he said, trying to capture their attention. "Guys! Listen up!" he yelled.

His fellow Apple Grove Boys turned around, their attention now on him. "What is it? What do you want?" said a fat kid, named Ralph.

"Yeah, Mikey, what's the hurry? Chill." Another boy, Harry added in. Mike looked around, noticing that his friends were eating Dream Berries, a natural hallucinogen, and were lying down looking at the sky.

"Man, Mikey, you gotta see this cloud man… It looks like a… a boob," said another of his friends, Milo, who was high out of his mind. "Sweet, right?"

Mike looked up at the sky. Of course, with him not being under the influence of Dream Berries, he didn't see the "boob" that Milo saw. "Guys, now's not the time for this! Those Peach Creek punks; Eddy, Kevin, and Rolf are headed towards the Market District, with some really expensive looking scepter! I bet we could swipe it offa them and make a pretty penny." Mike explained.

"Hey, what makes a penny pretty?" Sam, another of the boys added in.

Milo giggled at the ridiculous question, "I dunno, man!"

Mike pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers. '_Of all the days to get high, why did it have to be today?_' He took a deep breath, before he walked away. A minute later, he came back with two buckets, and dumped them on his friends.

"Hey, Mikey, what the hell, man?!" Ralph said, "I wasn't even high!" he swatted lazily at Mike.

"Sorry, Ralph."

The others slowly came to. "Damn, Mikey, why did you have to blow my high?" another kid, Brandon muttered.

"Like I was saying before, guys, those punks Eddy, Kevin, and Rolf are headed to the Market District with this golden scepter. Why don't we intercept them, nab the scepter, and sell it ourselves?" Mike repeated.

"That doesn't sound like a bad idea, Mike."

Mike turned around to greet the voice. "Hey, Vincent, you're back!"

Vincent was the oldest of the boys, at seventeen years old, and the current leader of the Apple Grove Boys.

"So those lil' punks are headed to the Market, eh? Yeah, let's meet and greet them, fellas." Vincent grinned slamming his fist into his hand. He looked around and noticed that aside from Mike, nobody was getting up. "Get up! We're going to the Market District. Anybody who disagrees is getting a broken nose!" Knowing he'd come through with his threat, the other boys stood to attention. Vincent rolled his eyes, and walked ahead, with Mike and the eight other boys following behind him.

"I can almost smell the money!" he said, looking upwards.

Eddy, Kevin, and Rolf were walking around the Market District, lost within the hustle and the bustle of the place. The boys where accosted by several merchants from foreign lands, wanting to sell them various items, "Feesh! Fresh feesh here! Hey lads! Buy my feesh!" a boisterous merchant yelled. He appeared to be from the desert lands, with his heavily browned skin, brought on from years of exposure to the light of the burning sun. His turban, robe, and sandals also gave it away. "Feesh?" he asked, grinning widely, displaying a wide array of teeth, some of which were gold.

"Nah, man, no thanks." Eddy said, walking away.

"Fruits? Exotic fruits over here!" Another merchant announced.

"Damn, Eddy, we gotta get the hell away from here." Kevin said.

Eddy nodded in agreement, he then looked around. "Hey, Kevin, where's Rolf?" he asked, looking around, but because of his height, or lack thereof, he couldn't really see around the people. Kevin looked around and couldn't find him anywhere.

"I don't see him. Where the hell could he have gone?" Kevin said, a little worried that something could've happened to Rolf. It wasn't like Rolf couldn't take care of himself; the guy was strong as hell for his age, which Rolf said came from him being the "son of a shepherd." But he was naïve, and could've been tricked into something bad. Kevin ran all around the District, ignoring the annoying merchants in his way. He eventually found Rolf talking to a tan skinned guy with blue tinged black hair just like his. They were happily chatting away in Rolf's native tongue. The guy and Rolf gave each other a strange parting handshake, and the guy walked away.

"Yo, Rolf! Over here!" Kevin shouted. Rolf turned around and walked towards Kevin,

"Hello loud Kevin! What is up?" he asked.

Kevin looked over to where the man walked away, "Who's that guy, Rolf?"

Rolf laughed, "He is a fellow brother of my country! He gave Rolf these as a parting gift!" He held up a few dark red beets. "Would you like one, Kevin?"

Kevin cringed at the sight of the beets. "No thanks, Rolf. They're all yours, man. Now let's get back to Eddy, before he gets snatched up by some pervert. You know how they like little kids." Kevin laughed.

"I heard that, prick." Eddy said, meeting up with Kevin and Rolf.

"Hey, Rolf, what the hell are those?" Rolf lifted the beets up, "Beets, short Eddy! They are a gift from Rolf's fellow countryman. Would you like one?" he handed Eddy one, who raised his hands up in refusal.

"No thanks, Rolf."

"Oh well, more for Rolf then!" he bit into the dark root, "MMM… so juicy!" he happily chewed. Eddy and Kevin scrunched their faces up, not understanding Rolf's love for beets.

"Alright, alright! We wasted enough time! Let's go over to Marco's already." Eddy said.

Ed was looking around the Market District, searching for the kid who stole his scepter. He was interrupted three times by a fish merchant, a pottery dealer, and a fruit stand owner, whom he brought an orange from. Not bothering to peel the fruit, Ed bit through the tough rind. "Where could they be?" he said to himself, looking around. Biting down on his orange again, he moved his tongue around inside his mouth, and spit out a seed. His search soon came to an end, when he saw three boys, one which he recognized as the kid who stole the scepter. Approaching them, he tapped the kid on the shoulder. "Hey you!" he uttered.

Kevin turned around, and gulped. _'Shit, it's him! Oh man! What am I gonna do?' _Eddy looked up at the person who tapped Kevin on the shoulder.

"What do you want? Piss off!" Eddy said, poking Ed in his chest. Ed, however, was undeterred by the kid, who was barely above half his height.

His eyes narrowed, "Give me back the scepter!" he demanded.

Eddy laughed, "The scepter? Why do you want it for? We found it, fair and square! Ain't that right, Kevin?"

Eddy looked over at Kevin, who chuckled weakly, "Heh, yeah. Fair and square."

Ed wasn't amused, and grabbed Kevin by the collar of his shirt, lifting him off of the ground. "Give me the scepter!" he demanded once more, his eyes burning with anger at Kevin.

Rolf, seeing that Kevin was being threatened, placed his hand on Ed's wrist, lowering Kevin back down. "No one harms the friend of Rolf," he warned, "Take your hands off of him or face the wrath of the son of a shepherd!"

Ed and Rolf stared at each other, waiting for the other to make a move. Eddy grinned, "Just go away, buddy, before Rolf makes mincemeat outta you."

Ed thought about letting Kevin go, as he really didn't want to fight anymore today, but he was gonna get that scepter back one way or another. He felt Rolf's grip tighten on his wrist. Should he fight them? Ed looked at Rolf, and then looked at Eddy, and then Kevin. The short one wouldn't be a problem, and neither would the red head. It was the foreign kid Ed was the most concerned about. Ed's train of thought was broken as he heard laughter behind him.

"Why don't you just give the scepter to me?"

Ed let go of Kevin, and Rolf let go of his wrist in the process, as all four boys turned around to the owner of the voice.

Eddy swore under his breath, "Shit. It's the Apple Grove Boys."

Vincent smiled, holding a stickball bat. Behind him were Mike, Ralph, Milo, Brandon, Sam, and four other boys. "Yo, big guy, never seen you before," Vincent said, "You a new recruit of theirs?"

Eddy looked up at Ed, '_Man, the scepter isn't worth all this…' _He sighed, as he looked at Ed. "Hey, Kevin. Give him the scepter."

"Huh?" Kevin looked over at Eddy, in disbelief at what he just heard. "But…"

"But nothin'. Look man, we're outnumbered. Either way you look at it, we were gonna lose that scepter anyways."

Kevin reluctantly gave Ed the scepter. "Alright, kid. Now get the hell outta here!" Eddy demanded.

"Eddy, you…" Kevin looked at Eddy, who focused on the Apple Grove Boys.

"I'd rather give it back to him than to get it stolen by these losers." Eddy said. He then turned back to Ed, "Hey, man, didn't we tell you to beat it already? Go!"

Ed turned around and ran off. Vincent turned around, "Hey, hey, hey, don't let that big oaf get away! Milo, Brandon, Sam, go get him! The rest of us'll take care of these three."

Eddy, Kevin, and Rolf got ready to battle. "Alright, boys, let's do this." Eddy said, moving his fingers.

"Rolf was born ready." Rolf said, taking his shirt off.

"At least we went down fighting." Kevin said, clenching his fists. The two gangs charged at each other.


	6. Those Crazy Apples

Chapter 6

Ed felt a slight bit of guilt as he ran away. It's not like he _knew _the guys or anything, but something made him want to turn around and help them out. Even if they did steal the scepter, something about them made Ed think that they really weren't bad guys. After all, they did let him go, and gave him back the scepter. Ed's thoughts were interrupted by a rock hitting him in the head.

"Ow! What the…?" he turned around, rubbing the spot where the rock hit him. He saw three of the Apple Grove Boys behind him, laughing.

One of them was tossing a rock up and down in his hand, "Direct hit, Milo!" he laughed.

"Thanks, Sam." Milo said.

"Hey, big guy, maybe it's in your best interest to hand over the scepter." Brandon said. Ed was angry, this was the second time today he'd been hit upside the head with a rock, not to he'd gotten beaten up by his little sister, he searched all over town for that damn scepter, gotten into a fight, and it was close to sundown. He had enough.

"Well, big guy? Hand it over."

"No!" Ed bellowed. His nostrils were flaring, and his jaw was clenched in anger, "I've had enough!" Ed looked at the three boys with a burning rage.

"Oh look, Sam, he's gettin' mad!" Brandon joked. Sam placed his arm back, ready to lob the rock at Ed's head, "Maybe this'll calm him down!" He threw the rock as hard as he could, but to their surprise, Ed caught the rock, and crushed it with his hand.

"Whoa!" Milo said in awe.

"Whatever, let's get him!" Brandon said, charging towards Ed. Brandon swung at Ed, who dodged out of the way of the punch. He grabbed Brandon by the his neck and slammed him on the ground, knocking the wind out of him. Milo jumped on Ed's back, and wrapped his arms around his neck.

"Yeah, big guy, it's time for a nap. C'mon!"

Ed tried to pry Milo's arms from around his neck, but he found that the boy had a surprisingly strong grip. Sam took this opportunity to punch Ed in the stomach, which temporarily halted Ed's attempt to break free. Sam cackled as he punched him again, making Ed cough up a little blood. Ed, running out of air, frantically kicked, hitting Sam squarely in the chest. He felt his vision fading, which meant he really had to act fast. As Sam struggled to get up, Ed took notice of a tree behind him. He ran backwards, hoping to smash Milo against the tree. Fortunately for him, Milo was too focused on his sleeper hold, and Ed succeeded in crushing Milo against the tree, forcing him off of Ed.

Sam ran towards Ed, "I'll smash your face in, bastard!" he screamed. Ed picked up Milo and threw him at Sam, knocking the boy down right beside Brandon. Ed peered down at the three boys struggling to pick themselves up.

"Need help?" he asked, picking Brandon up first and tossing him in a trash can. He did the same with the other two. "See you around!" he chuckled as he kicked the trash cans making them roll down the streets.

"Uh oh! Those guys!" Ed remembered as he ran back to where Eddy, Kevin, and Rolf were. As he pushed through the crowd of onlookers, he saw that things weren't looking so good. Eddy, Kevin, and Rolf were beaten, bloody, and barely able to stand. They managed to knock out three of the boys, but they were still overwhelmed.

"This is what happens when you screw around, boys!" Vincent yelled viciously, grabbing Eddy and punching him in the face, making the boy spit out a tooth.

"Up yours, Vincent!" Eddy grinned defiantly, as did Kevin and Rolf. Vincent, angered by Eddy's boldness, punched Eddy in the stomach, causing him to cough up blood. He then tossed him aside like a rag doll and turned to his other two captives.

"Eddy…" Kevin tried to yell, but due to his injuries, he could barely muster a whisper. He felt particularly hopeless at this point, with his arms held back and his face in the dirt, courtesy of Ralph, the fat-ass. Rolf wasn't faring any better with two of the other boys sitting on him with their knees on his neck.

"Hey!" Ed yelled. Vincent turned around, showing visible annoyance that those three couldn't take care of him.

"Well now, look who arrived on the scene? If it isn't the brave little knight that could?" Vincent laughed. _'Even if he's still standing, he's all beaten and bloody. This'll be over with quick…' _he grinned.

Ed stood his ground, "Let them go!" he demanded.

Vincent laughed, and ran his fingers through his long black hair. He tapped his stickball bat against his leg gently. "You don't know who you're messin' with, kid. I'm of noble blood here." he boasted, to the surprise of the others.

Eddy, who was barely conscious, couldn't believe his ears, _'He's a… a noble?' _

Vincent laughed, as he looked at the surprised faces of everybody around him. "That's right, my father is Lord Anderson, a soldier in the charge of the King of Aldebaran! I'm already a squire under Sir Martine! I can do anything I want, and get away with it!" he cackled gleefully, as he got into a fencing stance, holding his stickball bat up. He made a gesture with his hand, daring Ed to fight, "C'mon boy. Meet your maker!"

Ed placed his fists up. He was beaten up rather badly, and he didn't know how much more punishment he could take at this point. He looked up at the sky, and realized that he had at best, half an hour before sundown, so if he had to fight, he had to end this quickly, but how? His opponent didn't have a mark on him, not to mention he studied fencing. Ed noticed he was unarmed, but he still had the scepter… But if he used it, it'd get damaged and he'd have to get it repaired again. He left the scepter in the satchel he carried with him. Taking the bag off, he kicked it over to the side of the street.

"What's wrong? You scared? Aww… you better be, punk. You've just hit the worst part of your day!" Vincent sneered.

Ed took a deep breath, and ran towards Vincent.

"Ha! You idiot!" Vincent moved out of the way and hit Ed in the back with his stick. As Ed stumbled from the blow, Vincent hit him in the back of the legs, making him fall on his rear. Ed struggled to get up and Vincent jabbed him in the stomach with his bat, making him fall back down.

'_He doesn't… stand a chance…' _Eddy thought, looking at Ed's futile attempt to fight the older boy. Ralph and the other two boys laughed at the pathetic sight.

'_I gotta get… this fat bastard… offa me somehow!' _Kevin tried to think of anything he could to get Ralph off of him. He had to help that guy.

"Hey… Ralph… if you let me go, there's a nice cherry pie in it for ya."

Ralph looked down and punched Kevin in the back of the head, "Shut up. Don't try to bribe me with food! I'm trying to lose weight!"

Kevin swore mentally, '_Ow, shit! That didn't work! Fat son of a…' _He wondered how Rolf was doing, not that he could move his neck to find out. Rolf was also trying to think of a way to free himself, when he heard one of the boys sitting on him talking.

"Hey Tommy? What the hell are those?"

The other boy, Tommy, replied, "I dunno, Al. Why don't you go find out?"

To Rolf's luck, he felt one of the boys get up off of him, and he was able to move his neck. He turned his head to see what Al was doing. He saw Al walk over to his beets, which he dropped on the ground when they were about to fight. The boy picked up a beet, sniffed it, took a bite out of it, and immediately spit the root out.

"Goddamn, this is nasty!" Al threw the beet down in disgust and stomped on it, doing the same with the other two.

"How dare you hooligans disrespect the sweet ambrosia of Rolf's country?" Rolf suddenly shouted.

Suddenly feeling a new boost of energy, Rolf got up, knocking Tommy off of him. Ralph got up, surprised. "What the…?" he was interrupted by Rolf punching him the face, knocking him off of Kevin.

"Nice going, Rolf." Kevin remarked, getting up, cracking his neck and back. He turned to look at Tommy and Al, who got up, ready to fight.

"You two better stay down!" Tommy warned.

"Yeah," Al continued, "Stay down if you know what's good for ya!"

Kevin cracked his knuckles, ignoring their threats, but he couldn't get his chance to hurt them, because Rolf dove into both of them. He turned away hearing Rolf scream obscenities in his native tongue, along with Tommy and Al screaming. As Rolf was busy dealing with those two, Kevin walked over to Ralph, who was about to get up.

"Don't worry, Ralphie. Let me help you." He sneered, punching in the face, knocking the overweight boy out. Kevin shook the pain out of his hand, "Damn Ralph's got a hard face." He then turned to Eddy, "Hey dork, you okay?"

Eddy weakly smiled, showing his missing teeth. He slowly got up off of the ground, with assistance from Kevin.

"So, you ready, dude?" Kevin asked.

"Yeah… I owe that… bastard a few missin' teeth." Eddy replied.

"So what ya got in mind?" Kevin asked. Eddy pulled a slingshot from out of his pocket and handed it to Kevin.

"Here. I didn't… get to… use it yet."

Kevin laid Eddy by the side of a house. "Rest easy, man. Let me handle this."

Ed could barely stand. He was sure he had more bruises than he could count; meanwhile Vincent was walking around him like a predator toying with its prey.

"Didn't I tell you, kid? Didn't I? All you had to do was hand over that treasure and you could've went on about your merry way." He laughed.

"That scepter… belongs to my SISTER!" Ed yelled.

"Oh? It was your sister's? Well, that's a shame… I really didn't know." Vincent said, falsely upset, "Well, I guess the little whore is going to be disappointed, now isn't she?" he sneered.

Now, it was one thing to insult Ed, and it was another to beat him up, but no one, NO ONE, was ever gonna disrespect his sister. Ed gritted his teeth, and clenched his fists.

"No one talks about my sister like that!" he bellowed.

"What? You still have room to…AH!!!" Vincent was interrupted by a sharp pain in the back of his head. "What the hell was that?!" he looked over at Kevin, who had fired a rock at him with Eddy's slingshot.

"Hey, Vincent. Behind ya!" Kevin grinned. As Vincent turned around, Ed punched him, knocking him back five feet. As he got up, he felt something wet trickle down his lips. His nose was bleeding.

"Now you've done it, punk…" Vincent growled, "But first, I have to take care of this little inconvenience." He turned around and started walking towards Kevin. "You're going regret firing that weapon at me, you impertinent little shit." He growled.

"Not really. If anything, you should've regretted the day you messed with us!" Kevin responded calmly.

"And why is that, pray tell?"

"Because of this!" Kevin pointed over to Rolf who tackled Vincent to the ground. Before Rolf could do anything else, Vincent head-butted Rolf in the face, knocking the boy off of him.

As he got up, he kicked Rolf in the side, not noticing an enraged Ed charging towards him.

"What the…?" Ed grabbed Vincent and slammed him. Picking the boy back up, he slammed him once more, knocking the boy out. Ed fell back on his rear, finally glad the fight was over. Or so he thought, as Vincent got up and grabbed him by the shirt!

"You bastard!" he yelled, more than determined to cripple Ed at this point, but he was quickly knocked out again, courtesy of Kevin and Eddy's slingshot. The battle was finally over, and they all let out a sigh of relief.

"Man, I can't believe it…" Kevin said. "We actually beat Vincent!" he got up, walking over to Vincent's unconscious body, "Yeah! How's about that, bitch? Huh? Can't hear ya! Speak up!"

Rolf got up, wiping his nose with his shirt. "Rolf is ecstatic that we beat up nasty Vincent boy, but the guards could be here any minute! Rolf recommends we make haste!" He picked up Eddy, and the three were about to leave, when Eddy spoke up.

"Hold on!" Rolf, carrying Eddy, turned around, "Hey man, you rocked today. Come hang out with us sometimes!" he grinned, giving Ed thumbs up. Ed smiled slightly, and returned the thumbs up. As the three boys ran off, Ed picked himself off of the ground, and snuck off into the crowd himself before the guards came.

Sarah looked up at the sky and noticed that the sun was going down. She sighed as she dropped her playing cards. "Sarah? What are you going to do?" Jimmy asked.

"Let's go home, Jimmy." She said, her eyes downcast. Her brother didn't come through. She wasn't gonna tell Dad, but it was more than likely that Ed was gonna get in trouble if he didn't get back home in time. And his punishments were unusually strict in nature. As they walked away, Ed staggered his way towards them.

"Sarah?" he weakly called out. "Sarah?"

Sarah swore she had heard her brother's voice, and as she turned around, she saw Ed even more beaten up than usual. His nose had dried blood down to his lip, he had little cuts here and there, and his clothes were tattered and dirty. She almost cried when she saw him. He smiled as he pulled the scepter out of his bag, and fell down. Sarah couldn't fight the tears as she saw her brother in this condition. She couldn't believe that Ed went through all this just to get her scepter back.

"Sniff… Jimmy… let's help Ed…" she sobbed.

Jimmy struggled to lift Ed up, and the three of them made their way back to the manor. Thankfully, their parents were in their quarters, but a few of their attendants noticed the condition that Ed was in.

"Oh my goodness, Lady Sarah, what happened to Sir Ed?" an older man, Gregory, panicked.

"SHH…! Gregory, clean him up and take him to bed. Mother and Father shouldn't know about this!" She whispered sharply.

"As you wish, Lady Sarah!" Gregory said. He and another attendee took the injured Ed to his room. After being cleaned up, Ed was placed in his pajamas and into bed. He slept peacefully throughout the rest of the night, putting the turbulent day he had behind him.


	7. A Day In The Life of Ed

Chapter 7: A Day in the Life of Ed and Other Events

"What in the hell is the matter with you?!"

Sarah winced at the harsh sound of her father slapping Ed in the face. She didn't mention a word of Ed taking her scepter, nor did she speak of the fight Ed had apparently gotten involved in. But, somehow, a friend of the family who just happened to be in the Market Square during the battle between the Peach Creek Gang and the Apple Grove Boys just happened to bear witness to Ed's involvement in the fighting. Word about it had reached the ears of Allen Axial, a high ranking official of the kingdom, Sarah's father, and Ed's stepfather. His hardened ice-blue eyes burned with fury at his dullard stepson.

"Did you even think for a second about what this would do to our reputation?! The… the son of aristocrats gallivanting about with a bunch of low class thugs! Fighting and doing God-knows-what?" Allen howled at the boy, who was rubbing his reddened cheek. "Well, what do you have to say for yourself? Speak up, boy!"

"Allen, for God's sake," Priscilla, Ed and Sarah's mother pleaded, "Let him be! Can't you see he's already suffered enough?"

"Yeah, daddy, please?" Sarah begged, looking up at her father with her bright brown eyes. Allen glanced over at his wife and daughter, who were looking at him imploringly. He looked back to Ed, who immediately cast his eyes downwards.

"I need a drink," he began to walk out of Ed's room, but stopped, and turned around, glaring at Ed, "And boy, if I ever… EVER hear so much as a peep about you getting into fights and embarrassing this family even further… you'd better pray for divine intervention when I find you." He walked out of the room, grumbling.

"Edward…" Priscilla called out to her son, who continued to look downwards, "Edward, dear? We as the Axial family, must work hard to maintain our standing in the kingdom. I only ask that you respect that, and avoid those people you acquainted yourself with in the future."

"Yes, mother. Ed will do as you say…" Ed muttered sadly. Priscilla cupped her son's cheek, making him wince, and faintly smiled as she walked out of his room, turning back to glance at her two children.

"Ed, I…" Sarah stopped, not knowing what to properly say. She never knew how to respond to Ed after he had gotten into trouble. She had no clue why, but their father seemed to have it out for Ed. Whenever she herself had gotten hurt, whether it was merely her falling down and scraping her knee, or crying over a stubbed toe, Ed was the one who'd be punished, her father yelling at him to watch out for his sister. Earlier, she'd often get Ed into trouble out of boredom, but recently, after seeing the extent of what her father would do to Ed, she stopped, sometimes even hiding or cleaning up something he did.

Ed, however, seemed to endure the pain of the slaps, the sting of the belts, the yelling, the rancid smell of liquor attacking his nose. It's all he could do. It's all he knew how to do. He wasn't a smart child by any means, but even he knew his place in the Axial home. He escaped this daily routine through his adventures, fantastic tales of heroics and bravery, conjured up in his mind through the sheer power of his imagination. Ed recalled the time that he faced off against the tyrannical Fish Lords of Lemon Lake, or the abominable Old Man of the Ice. There was the other time where he singlehandedly fended off the Great Demon Squash of Hallows' Eve, which threatened to devour the good people of Renaldo. His victory was short lived, however, as he found himself in the garden of Farmer Johnson, surrounded by destroyed crops and the remains of Farmer Johnson's prize winning Giant Squash. Ed found himself on the receiving end of several belt lashes that night from his stepfather.

"Ed, I'm sorry. If I hadn't forced you to go get that scepter, this wouldn't have ever happened." Sarah whispered. She lightly touched Ed's elbow and walked out of his room, stopping to look back at him. As she walked back to her room to do her studies, she overheard the arguing voices of her parents.

"Priscilla, you had better do something about that child, because if you don't…"

"Allen! I… AH!"

Sarah's eyes widened as she heard something fall in the room.

"See, you caused this, Priscilla. YOU caused this," Allen whispered, "Now pick yourself up. Like I said, you get that boy to straighten his act. Or I will. Now leave my office."

Sarah saw the door knob turn, and she continued on to her room.

"Oh, Sarah?" Her mother called out.

"Mother?" She turned around, facing her mother.

"Nothing, dear. It's nothing…" She faintly smiled.

Sarah looked at her mother for a few seconds, and walked off. As her door closed, Priscilla's smile faded, giving way to tears slowly trickling down her face. This was her role in the Axial household, to love and cherish her husband. To make sure her children done as they were told. Nothing more.

The next day, Allen Axial left for the Council Hall. As he walked through the streets, he heard the mindless chattering of the commoners, the silly gossip of housewives, and the raucous laughter of men drinking when they should be working. Oh, how he despised them all. A disheveled man hobbled over towards him, scratching away at the sparse stubble on his jaw.

"Hey pal, can you spare some change?" the man asked, his dirty hand stretched out ready to accept the coins falling in his hand. Allen raised an eyebrow at the man.

"Excuse me?"

"Y'got any change on ya, brother?" the man asked again. "C'mon man. Just wanna get somethin' t'eat."

Allen scoffed at the man, and pushed him away, muttering, "Leech," as he walked off, wiping his hand on his coat, disgusted that he actually touched the old indigent.

"Screw you man! I fought for this goddamned country!" the vagrant angrily yelled, before coughing fiercely due to the strain on his dry throat. Through blurry eyes, he glared at the smug upper class asshole who just snubbed him. They were all the same. Every last one of them.

Allen pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his nose. Hopefully he could reach the damned Council Hall before he suffered any more indignities. Unfortunately, his wish wouldn't come true, as a well dressed man approached him, with a haughty smile plastered on his face.

"Allen," the man smiled, "How's the family? Are they keeping out of trouble?"

"Shut up, William." Allen snapped. He was in no mood.

"Oh? What's gotten our knickers in a bunch?" William laughed, putting his hands up.

"Like you don't know? That damned boy is going to ruin me."

"Come now, Allen my boy. He's but a lad. Are they not supposed to frolic about with laughter and happiness?"

"That boy is nothing more than a fool. That's all he will be."

"Like father like son!" William laughed, patting Allen on the back.

Allen shrugged him off, "Don't insult me with that rubbish! Me, that buffoon's father? Ha! His father was some halfwit soldier. He died out of the shame of Priscilla bearing such an imbecile."

"Oh ho, harsh words, my friend! By the way…"

"What? What is it?"

"Have you heard the news?"

"What news?"

"Apparently, Anderson's boy was arrested the other day. And he was a squire as well! If I didn't know any better, I'd say your boy was a terrible influence on others!" William laughed, running a hand through his curly black hair.

"Go to Hell, William." Allen muttered, as the two men walked into the building.

Ed woke up with a loud yawn, stretching his arms back as far as he could. Scratching behind his ear, he got up, and threw on whatever clothes were lying around. He thought about what Allen, or rather, his stepfather, said yesterday. At the same time, he thought about his new friends. Well, at least he would've liked to be friends with them. They helped him out after all, as he helped them. Those Peach Creek people most certainly weren't bad. Those Apple Grove boys were pretty awful, that was true, and he had no intention of associating with them.

He walked into the bathroom, where he looked into the mirror. The bruises were all but gone on his face. The small cuts were almost healed, unnoticeable from a distance. He grinned at the thought of possibly having friends. Sure, the servants were nice, and the kids he met at the parties his parents attended were okay, if not a little snobbish. They didn't enjoy or understand the things he enjoyed. But the Peach Creek kids, they seemed different somehow.

As Ed grabbed his coat, ready to leave, Gregory called out to him.

"Master Edward? Where are you going?"

"Hangin' out with my friends, Gregory!" Ed cheerfully replied.

"Master Edward, Lord Allen insisted you not associate with those… people any further! Surely you do not wish to incur his anger?"

"Ed's not gonna hang out with _those_ people, Gregory! My friends are better than that!" Ed reassured the older gentleman.

"But Master Edward…" his protests were interrupted by a knocking at the door. He opened the door to see Jimmy standing there.

"Hello, Gregory! Is Sarah available?" Jimmy asked, bowing.

"Why yes, Master James. Allow me to retrieve her."

As Gregory made his way up to the steps, Ed swept Jimmy off of his feet in a crushing hug.

"Oh thank you, little Jimmy!"

"W…what are you doing, Ed?" the boy managed to wheeze out.

Ed dropped Jimmy, who landed on his rear with an "Owie!" and made his way out the door. He wandered throughout the streets, looking out for any of the other kids. Hopefully he wouldn't run into any of those mean Apple Grove Boys. His worries were washed away as he saw Double D, walking about, muttering about something that sounded way too complicated for Ed, or anyone else for that matter, to understand. Double D snapped out of his mumbling reverie to see the other boy looking at him.

"Oh, hello there!" the smaller boy waved, "Fancy meeting you here! I don't mean to repeat myself, but thank you again for the other day! Those ruffians won't be accosting us for a while!" Double D grinned, showing his gapped, protruding teeth.

Ed chuckled as a response. Double D began to giggle as well, until his eyes widened and he gasped in sudden realization, cupping his mouth.

"How negligent of me! I haven't properly introduced myself!" he said. "I'm Eddward Mason, but my friends call me Double D!" he explained, offering his hand to the other boy to shake.

"I am Ed!" Ed declared, grasping the other boy's hand and shaking it roughly.

"Ouch!" Edd cried; his now crushed hand in pain. "You have… quite a powerful grip!" he weakly laughed. "Ed, you say?"

"Yep! Ed is Ed!"

"Oho! What a coincidence! You see, my name is Edd, your name is Ed, and my best friend's name is Eddy! We all have the same name! It must have been predetermined that we all would meet up somehow! Oh, I must introduce you to the others!"

"Okay!" Ed replied, following the other boy.

They made their way to the outskirts of town, down by the creek, where the other children were located. Eddy and Kevin were playing cards. Nazz was practicing martial arts, punching and kicking at the air. Rolf was chasing a chicken… for some reason or another.

"Hey, you're cheating!" Kevin yelled.

"Screw you, Kevin! I ain't cheatin'! You're the one's that's cheatin'!" Eddy argued, throwing his cards down. Kevin looked down, and noticed that Eddy had two aces of spades.

"Son of a bitch! You actually _were_ cheating! I should kick your ass, man!"

"Well, if you're gonna get all angry over a simple game, I don't wanna play anymore!"

"What?! You can't weasel yer way outta this, you dick!"

"Watch me!" Eddy yelled, walking away.

Kevin got up off of the ground, dropping the cards on the stump they were playing on. He rolled his sleeves up, ready to punch Eddy when Nazz interjected.

"Dudes, I'm like, over here tryin' to focus an' all, and you guys are totally ruining the groove."

"Oh, ah, sorry Nazz." Kevin apologized, rolling his sleeves back down.

"Yeah, what he said." Eddy said, kicking at the ground.

"Alrighty, you dudes are forgiven!" she said, noticing Double D and Ed approaching, "Hey dudes, Double D's here with that guy that helped us out!"

"Double D!" Eddy approached him. He noticed the larger boy behind him, "Oh hey, it's you! What's up, man?"

"Eddy… Guess what?" Double D said in an unusually giddy manner.

"What? You two gettin' hitched?" Eddy said, wondering why Double D was so excited.

"Heavens no, Eddy!" Double D said, blushing in shock, "his name is Ed, just like us!"

"No shit? Hey man, I'm Eddy, the extremely handsome genius leader of the Peach Creek Gang." He said, extending his hand outwards.

"_Uh oh." _Double D thought.

Ed grasped Eddy's hand, crushing it in his grip. Adding insult to injury, he shook the boy's hand profusely, blissfully ignorant of Eddy's cries of pain.

"I'm Ed! Nice to meetcha!" he cheerfully declared.

"My hand…" Eddy whimpered, clutching his injured hand, tears forming in his eyes.

The trio walked over to where the other children were. Kevin nervously approached Ed.

"Yo. 'Sup, dude? I'm Kevin. Sorry for hittin' you in the head with a rock an' all." He nervously laughed.

"Kevin, wait!" Eddy warned.

"What, dork?"

"Oh, never mind… It's nothin'." Eddy said, snickering.

Kevin raised his eyebrow at Eddy, and extended his hand outwards.

"I'm Ed!" Ed declared once again, obliviously crushing Kevin's hand with his monstrous strength. Kevin's subsequent howl of pain was heard echoing throughout the town.

"Hey dude! Thanks again for saving me!" Nazz said. Seeing what Ed did to Eddy and Kevin, she instead stood on the tips of her toes and gave Ed a peck on the cheek, whose face turned a deep crimson.

Rolf stopped chasing the fowl around and stalked over to Ed. The two stared each other in the eyes. Ed chuckled, and Rolf grinned. He extended his hand outwards, and everyone else anticipated the inevitable hand injury Rolf would receive. To their surprise, the two boy shook each others' hands without incident. Apparently, the hands of the son of a shepherd were incredibly resilient.

Eddy grinned, "Welp, Ed, welcome to the Peach Creek Gang!" he proclaimed, giving Ed a thumbs-up.

A thought seemed to hit Kevin as he stared at Ed, Edd, and Eddy.

"Ed, Edd, and Eddy… this is too weird. It sounds like the title of some bizarre theater show."

"Sounds like something I'd watch!" Eddy responded.

Everyone laughed as they celebrated the initiation of their new member, which consisted of a campfire with marshmallows.

Oh, how the mighty had fallen. Vincent sat in the darkness of the holding cell, lost in thought. For the past day, he contemplated his… _loss_. His first loss came to him via a simpleton, and those Peach Creek losers. It was unthinkable to say the least. There was no way in Hell that he could accept something like this. His pride had taken irreparable injury, and he wanted vengeance. He wanted to see them whimpering, broken, and beaten underneath his boots. His reverie was broken as the guard called out to him.

"Vincent Anderson, someone is here to see you."

"Who is it?"

"Your father." A deep voice resounded beyond the wooden door.

Vincent was ecstatic, "Father! You've come to set me free!"

"Not quite."

"What? What do you mean? Surely you jest, father?"

The door opened, and Vincent rose to his feet. In strode a well dressed man, with a fur-lined coat. His face held a displeased visage. Richard Anderson was less than happy to see his son imprisoned. He turned to the guard and gave him a slight nod. With that, the guard closed the door, leaving the father and son alone.

"Father, what's going on?" Vincent asked, wary of his father's actions.

His question was answered with a slap to the face. Blood mixed with spit trickled out of the boy's surprised lips. Vincent cried out in pain as his father yanked him by the ear.

"Damn it, Vincent! How could you let something like this happen?"

"Sorry… father." He uttered out, his ear in sharp pain as his father kept a viselike grip on it.

"Sorry? Sorry? You fool. Look at you, beaten, bruised, and bloody. In _jail_!"

Vincent looked downwards, unable to say anything.

"I had to persuade Martine to continue to further your training! You have left a serious blight on our name, boy! Do you know what would happen, if news of this incident spread?"

"Father, I…"

"I don't want to hear your excuses, Vincent." He glared at his son, "I want you to promise me something!"

"Anything you ask, father." He kneeled down.

"I want you to restore our pride." He said, cryptically, "Now come. We must prepare for the upcoming Harvest Festival."

"Yes father."

As Vincent and his father left the dank cell, Vincent had several thoughts forming in his head; each and every one intent on the end of the Peach Creek Gang, as well as their new simpleton friend. He would get them at the Harvest Festival, which was only three days away.


	8. Meet The Kankers

A hooded man made his way throughout the darkness of the woods, with only a small lantern barely illuminating the way beyond. The pitter-patter of the rain, the screeching of the cicadas, and the call of the owls created a primal rhythm in his ears. A crunching sound broke the forest song, and the man turned, to see the glowing eyes of a wolf, attracted to the source of light. The wolf was starving, as his usual prey hid themselves, taking shelter in the rain, and he had grown desperate for a meal. He studied the hooded man, his face obscured by a scarf, with the exception of his eyes. This man was different somehow; his grey eyes held no fear or apprehension at the presence of the wolf. His body wasn't tense, but relaxed, as if he had felt secure around the hungry animal.

"Run along now, beast." The man uttered gravely, shooing away the wolf with his hand.

_Did this human honestly dismiss him, as he some insignificant being? Did the man not know that he had him at his mercy? That he and his kin would rend this man apart and devour him?_

The wolf's ears flattened, his teeth bared in anger. He growled menacingly at the man, who continued on his way. The wolf had never been more insulted. He leapt at the man with a cry of rage. He would have his meal tonight. The man stopped, and looked to his shoulder.

"I gave you your warning." He whispered.

Roots burst forth from the earth, ensnaring the wolf in their grasp. The wolf cried in painful terror as its bones cracked and broke under the crushing grip of the tendrils. The painful howls were soon drowned out as the wolf was dragged to its grave, deep in the ground, never to be seen again. The man stared at the ground, which had no sign of it ever being disrupted. With no further hindrances impeding his progress, he journeyed on further, until he reached a cave. The man reached into his cloak, and pulled out an intricate silver ring, resembling a snake. In the snake's mouth was a glittering amethyst. He held the ring up and began to chant.

"By the Order, I beseech ye, oh Spirit of the Gate! Open the door to Elysium, where the gods convene!"

The ring shone a brilliant violet, and a beam of light sprung forth from it. The mouth of the cave began to glow with the same radiance and color as the ring. The man walked forth into the entrance, which now rippled like water, and disappeared.

The hooded man found himself in what appeared to be a meeting room, dimly lit with torches holding blue flames. He looked to see seven other hooded figures seated, waiting for him.

"You are late, Mercurian." one of them spoke.

"My apologies, my brethren, I ran into some hindrances." Mercurian replied.

"Perhaps if you didn't frolic amongst the local wildlife, you would have arrived on time." Another stated.

"Hold your tongue, Isurus!" Mercurian shouted.

"Be silent, all of you! The meeting shall begin soon. Mercurian, take your seat." Another spoke.

Mercurian sat down, as another man materialized into the room, taking his place onto a grand throne. The man appeared to be in his sixties, his face beset with few wrinkles, and his piercing blue eyes seemed as if they could see directly into your own soul. He had long silver hair, and a thin mustache. On his left ring finger was a silver ring, bearing the same design as Mercurian's. His eyes slowly glanced over everyone in the room.

"Is everyone accounted for?" he asked, his raspy voice echoing throughout the room.

One of the figures stood up, "Everyone is here, my liege."

"Let the meeting of the Order of the Serpent commence." The man ordered.

"My liege, our agents have spotted the heretic Indigo making his way to Aldebaran! Shall we capture him there?"

"Allow me the honor, lord! I will eliminate that man!" Mercurian stood up, fist balled up.

"Ha! Don't insult us, Mercurian! Do you not remember what that man did to you before?" another figure laughed.

"That is exactly why, Darius! I will restore my honor by slaying that man!" he argued.

"Yes, your majesty. Please let Mercurian chase after that man!" Isurus pleaded.

"Isurus, I am honored! You trust in my success?"

"Indigo would do us a great honor if he finishes off Mercurian!" Isurus laughed.

The Order erupted in laughter with the exception of the leader, and Mercurian, who was furious. He stood up, slamming his hand down on the table, cracking it.

"You mock me, Isurus?!" he bellowed. "I will not let this slight go unpunished!"

The air around his hand rippled. Isurus grinned at the sight before him.

"Ooh, temper, temper, temper, Mercurian!" he chuckled.

Mercurian shot his hand forward, but was stopped by a hooded figure grabbing his arm tightly.

"Mercurian! How dare you show such a childish display in front of the master? Have you no shame?" the figure reprimanded.

"Release me at once, Genevieve!" he howled.

The leader's eyes began to glow red. Mercurian, Isurus, and Genevieve felt their breath leave their bodies. They clutched at their throats, as black veins appeared on their faces, and their eyes bulged outwards, bloodshot.

"ENOUGH!" the leader roared, his eyes changing back to their normal blue color.

The three councilmen gasped as air reached their lungs once more.

"My… apologies, my liege." Genevieve sputtered.

"Indigo is not to be eliminated yet…" the leader ordered, "He is still a part of the plan."

Sweat trickled down her face as Nazz tossed and turned in her bed. She shuddered and shook as her subconscious entered that terrible dream once more.

"Not again…" she whispered.

Nazz opened her eyes to find herself in complete darkness. She looked around, seeing an elegant woman, who looked incredibly similar to her, possessing the same icy blue eyes and wavy blonde hair. However, the woman appeared as if she were beaten, as her garments were tattered, her body covered in bruises, and she was bleeding from cuts in several places.

"Oh Natalya… my dear sweet Natalya!" the woman sobbed. "Live on, my child."

The woman reached out to Nazz, before shattering like glass. Nazz woke up, panting heavily. She gripped the bed sheet tightly, as tears ran down her eyes. She looked out the window, which was now obscured by the rain falling outside.

The next morning, the Peach Creek gang set out to the waterhole, deep in the woods. The waterhole was their personal getaway spot, where they could truly relax and laugh their problems away. Rolf stood on the edge of the cliff, stretching his hairy body as far back as he could. He stuck his finger in his mouth and held it in the air.

"Rolf, c'mon man! What's takin' ya so long?" Kevin called out.

"Yeah dude, what's the hold-up?" Nazz asked.

"Be silent, Big Chin Kevin and floozy Nazz girl! Rolf must test the air before he makes this leap of faith into the murky depths below!"

"Big chin?"

"Floozy?"

"YAHHHHHH!!!!!!" Rolf cried out as he leapt in the water, sending water flying everywhere.

"Easy now, Rolf!" Edd scolded, being splashed by the water.

"Yo, Double Dork, whaddya doin' over there?" Kevin asked.

"Well, before I was rudely interrupted by Rolf's shenanigans, I was studying the local flora and fauna. Did you know there are…? Ah!"

Double D's scientific lecture was interrupted once more by Eddy hitting him with a ball of mud.

"Eddy!" he screeched, wiping the mud from his face with a handkerchief.

"AHAHAHAHA! I got you good, Double D!" the diminutive boy laughed, not realizing the hulking figure overshadowing him. Hands wrapped around Eddy's waist, slamming him into the water.

"What the…? Who did that?" Eddy sputtered, a fish flapping out of his ear.

Ed burst through water like a dolphin, laughing.

"I am a majestic creature of the deep, I am!" he declared.

"That was unprecedented." Double D remarked.

Unbeknownst to the gang, three people were watching them from the tree tops, giggling.

"Lookee here, girls! We got us some new prey!"

Another laughed, "They won't even know what hit em', Lee!"

"Let's give them a warm welcome!"

The trio chuckled as they leapt off of the tree branches. The blue haired girl reached into her pocket, and pulled out an abnormally large bag, labeled as "Magic Powder." The blonde used her large front teeth to rip the top of the bag open. Lee chortled as she approached the cliff side overlooking the pond, with the bag in hand. She hurled the bag into the pond, making a large splash.

"What the hell!" Kevin and Eddy yelled in unison.

"Hey you guys!" she yelled.

The Peach Creek Gang all looked up to see the red head standing above them.

"Who the hell is that?" Kevin asked.

"Beats me." Nazz replied.

"Who are you, bizarre ginger fro girl?" Rolf queried

"I've seen her before…" Double D noted.

"Hey! Beat it, you crazy broad!" Eddy shrieked at the top of his lungs, making everyone cover their ears.

"Well, aren't you a cutie-pie? What's yer name, little man?" Lee asked, lifting her bangs to wink at him.

"Little man? I'm the goddamn leader of the Peach Creek Gang, Eddy Skipper McGee!" he yelled.

"Ha, Skipper!" Kevin snickered.

"Oh. The Peach Creek Gang! I ain't never heard o' yas!"

"So technically due to that double negative, that would mean you have indeed heard of us…" Double D muttered.

"You've never heard of us? Have you been livin' under a rock or somethin'?!" Eddy screamed, shocked. _EVERYONE_ knew who they were. She must've been some backwoods hick if she'd never heard of the Peach Creek Gang.

"Loud mouth short Ed-boy is breaking Rolf's eardrums!" Rolf said, covering his ears.

Lee was joined by the blonde and blue-haired girl. They stood at the cliff edge, grinning. But the Peach Creek Gang wasn't focused on the girls, but what they held in their arms. More specifically, the trio had the possessions of the gang! Double D stared at the trio, focusing intently on their faces.

"What's up, cutie? Like what ya see?" the blue haired girl said, batting her visible eye.

"Uh… um… Would you by any chance… be the notorious Kanker Sisters?" he stammered.

"The Kanker Sisters?" Nazz asked him, "I thought the Kanker Sisters were part bridge troll, and were hideously ugly? And well… um… they look pretty human to me, dudes."

"What was that, bimbo?" Lee Kanker asked, "Ya don't want me t' rough up that face o' yers."

"Screw that! What the hell are you doin' with our stuff?" Kevin yelled.

"We're takin' it, yep!" the blonde boasted.

"Like hell you will!" Eddy yelled.

He tried to leap out of the water, only to find he was stuck! As were the other members of the Peach Creek Gang! Double D touched the water, only to find it now had a rubbery texture about it.

"What is this strange substance? Is… is this GELATIN?" he asked, befuddled, "How is this possible?"

"Like it, cutie? It's our own Kanker brand special solution!" the blue haired girl laughed.

"See ya later, losers!" Lee guffawed.

The three ran off, cackling. The Peach Creek Gang struggled to get out of their viscous prison, but to no avail.

"Rolf is reminded of the time Nana bathed him in maple syrup when he was but a mere babe!"

"Dude, what is this?" Kevin asked, "It friggin' stinks!"

"This is so not right!" Nazz squeaked.

"I feel violated!" Double D shuddered.

"That crazy bitch, when I get outta here, I'm gonna… Wait, where the hell is Ed?" Eddy asked.

The gang frequently looked as far their trapped bodies would allow, but they couldn't find him!

"Ed? Where are ya, man?" Kevin called out.

"Curiously yellow-skinned behemoth Ed-boy? Rolf asks that you appear before us!"

"Dude? Where'd you go, dude?" Nazz asked.

Edd looked down, and noticed the level of the gelatin was lowering.

"What is this? Is it reverting back to its liquid form?" he pondered.

Eddy looked downwards to see Ed underneath the gelatin, which somehow he was now eating!

"Hey Ed, ya big lug! Thank god for your appetite!" he cheered.

"Oh dear… with all the microscopic organisms present… not to mention our collective bacteria we may possibly carry… this cannot be healthy." Double D wondered.

"Eww, it feels gross!" Nazz trembled, as the gelatin lowered itself down to her ankles.

"Aw man, way to go big guy!" Kevin cheered.

"Rolf is astounded at the seemingly bottomless stomach of the large Ed-boy!"

Ed consumed the last of the strange gelatinous substance, ending his meal with a loud burp.

"Scrumptious." He commented.

"Good job, Ed!" Nazz said, kissing him on the cheek.

"What is this, like the third kiss he's gotten in the story now?" Eddy muttered to himself, "Alright everybody, we got a job to do. We gotta find those Kanker bitches and hunt them like the dogs they are!"

"They've certainly made good progress by now, Eddy." Double D noted, "Perhaps it would be wise if we all split up? We'd cover more ground that way."

"Double D's right." Kevin said, "Nazz and Rolf, you come with me. Eddy, you take Double D and Ed."

"Why do you get Nazz?" Eddy questioned, narrowing his eyes at Kevin.

"Dude, does it friggin' matter? We gotta go after 'em!" Kevin argued.

"Kevin is correct, Eddy. The longer we bicker amongst ourselves, the longer the distance between us and the Kanker Sisters."

"Ugh! Alright, alright, already! Let's go!"

The Peach Creek gang ran in separate directions, both groups looking for the elusive Kanker sisters. Kevin's group was wandering deep into the woods, with Rolf sniffing at the ground much to the bewilderment of his friends.

"Hey Rolf, what the hell are you doing?" Kevin asked, raising an eyebrow.

"SHH! Be silent, Kevin! Rolf is tracking the scent of that mischievous trio of Kanker scoundrels!"

"So Nazz… you look a bit cold out here in that bathing suit… why don't I help warm you up while Rolf plays bloodhound?" Kevin asked, attempting to place his arm around Nazz's waist.

"No thanks, Kev. I'm fine!" she replied, skipping ahead.

Kevin sighed, his attempt defeated, and they continued walking.

Meanwhile, Eddy's group was searching every nook and cranny for the sisters. Eddy and Double D looked on as Ed lifted up rocks and logs to see if they were under them.

"Hello?"

"Um… Ed? Let's look for more realistic locations." Double D suggested.

"Okay!"

They continued onwards until they came across a giant spider web.

"Well, this is something. I've never seen such a large web before!" Double D said, astonished.

"Eh, let's just keep goin' on." Eddy replied.

"Oh boy, this reminds me of the story "I Was a Thorax!" Ed exclaimed, jumping onto the web.

"Ed, no! You're disrupting nature!" Double D said.

The two boys watched Ed bounce up and down on the web as he laughed. Eddy tapped his foot impatiently, and Double D cupped his hands together uneasily, until they heard giggles echoing throughout the woods.

"Double D! Didya hear that?" Eddy said, looking around.

"Yes I did, Eddy." Double D's knees shook, "Do you think it's them?"

"Ed, come on, we gotta go!"

"I can't get off, Eddy!"

The two boys pulled on Ed's legs as hard as they could, but to no avail. The haunting laughter grew louder, motivating the boys to pull harder on his legs.

"Damn, what's this web made of?" Eddy muttered, as he continued pulling.

Eventually, the web broke, and they all went tumbled backwards. Getting up off of the ground, the three heard the laughter once more. They turned around to see three pairs of eyes watching them.

"AHHHHH!!!!!!!" they screamed in unison, running deeper into the woods.

They heard the laughter again, and as they looked upwards, they saw the three pairs of eyes…

"How are they doing this?" Eddy wondered, as they continued running.

Looking behind them, the three boys failed to notice the log in front of them, which they tripped over, causing them to fall over and roll down a hill, landing smack-dab into a tree, knocking them unconscious…

Elsewhere in the woods, Kevin, Nazz, and Rolf were sitting down on a log. Rolf inexplicably had beard stubble growing on his face.

"Oh, Rolf is beleaguered with fatigue…"

"Oh man, I just wanna go home." Nazz pouted.

"Hope the Eds are havin' better luck than what we got." Kevin pondered.

Just then, Rolf's stomach rumbled quite loudly, scaring the birds currently resting in the tree limbs and other wildlife.

"Rolf needs sustenance… or he will go mad with hunger." he said, clutching his belly.

Nazz and Kevin looked at Rolf, and looked at each other, nervously.

Eddy woke up, dazed.

"Why is there two of everything…?" he asked groggily.

After clearing his head, he took a look at his new surroundings. He found himself, and the other Eds, in a rundown room. The couch they were sitting on was dusty, there were bugs crawling on the walls, an old rusty lamp sat on a coffee table beside them, on the left wall was a bookshelf that was covered in cobwebs.

"Man, whoever owns this place really doesn't know how to clean up, do they?" he noted.

He shook the prone Double D, who woke up rubbing his head in agony.

"Ugh… my head."

"Mornin', sunshine." Eddy said, sarcastically.

"Where are we, Eddy?"

"Beats me."

"Dear Lord, there's so much dust!"

"I don't think that's the main issue here, Sock-Head."

Ed woke up scratching his head, which had a rather large lump on it.

"Morning," was all he said, "What's for breakfast?"

The door opened up, making the Eds turn around, curious to see the person that owned this residence. To their surprise and horror, it was the three Kankers.

"OH GOD NO!" Eddy said, backing up into the couch.

"Please let this be a dream!" Double D shook.

"I'm not in my happy place, guys." Ed said, biting his fingernails.

"Oh guys, relax." The blue haired one said, laughing, "We ain't gonna hurt ya. By the way, I'm Marie."

"I'm Lee." The red head said.

"And I'm May." The blonde bucktoothed one said, giggling.

"What's going on here?" Eddy demanded, "Where are we?"

"Oh yeah, cutie. Welcome to our hideout." Lee laughed.

"We found ya knocked out nearby. Looks like you hit yer heads or something, judgin' by those lumps yer sportin'." Marie said.

"We fixed ya up and let you rest here." May giggled.

"Wait a minute… you touched my hat?!" Double D shrieked; placing his hands over his hat covered head.

"Of course not! Even when you were knocked out, you wouldn't let me get that thing off. Yer hands just shot up coverin' yer head as soon as I so much as tugged on it." Marie noted.

Double D sighed, "Ah. Well, I thank you for helping us, even if you did trap us with that strange concoction and made off with our personal belongings."

"Oh yeah, ha ha. Sorry for that, muffin. It's how we make a living."

"Where the hell is our stuff anyways?" Eddy asked, crossing his arms.

"Don't worry bout that now, you boys must be starvin'. Let's whip you up a nice meal." Lee assured, "You stay put."

Ed, Edd, and Eddy all looked at each other as the girls walked out of the room.

"What do you think, Eddy?" Double D asked.

"I dunno. For all I know this could be a trick. They might be plannin' to poison us."

"I don't think so, Eddy. After all, they went out their way to help us and tend to our injuries. What do you think, Ed?"

"I'm hungry."

"Big guy's got his priorities straight." Eddy noted.

"Ed, it is getting dark out. Isn't your family worried with you being out so late?"

"I dunno."

Back at the Axial home, the family was having dinner.

"Sarah, have you seen Edward?" Priscilla asked.

"Hmph." Allen grunted.

Priscilla glared at her husband before she asked Sarah again.

"No, I haven't seen Ed since this morning, mother." Sarah replied.

Priscilla sighed, as she looked out of the window, worried about her son. Hopefully he wasn't in any trouble. At the Kankers' hideout, the boys sat in anticipation of what the Kankers were doing. They heard giggling and unintelligible whispers through the door. The door opened, and May rolled in a cart with three rather large hot sandwiches with steam rising from them. The scent wafted over to the boys' nostrils, almost lifting them from the couch.

"That smells delectable." Double D commented.

"Man, bring it on!" Eddy said, rubbing his hands together and licking his lips.

Ed simply drooled in his lap. May chuckled at the sight. The other sisters came in with three glasses.

"We got you some powdered milk." Lee said.

The three girls had unusually serene features (well as serene as the Kankers can get) on their faces as they handed the three Eds their food and beverages. The boys chugged the drink down. Double D coughed up a bit of extra powder as he finished, which made Marie giggle. The three boys patted their stomachs and grabbed the sandwiches before them. Lee, Marie, and May walked out of the room.

"We're gonna go… freshen up a little bit, boys." Lee said, patting her hair.

The Eds ignored her, simply focusing on their meal. Eddy bit down, his teeth hitting something hard. He spit out a small bone, belonging to the animal that the meat came from, and continued eating. The three girls came back in the room, wearing simple sundresses with bows in their hair.

"Heya boys…" They silkily purred.

Their new look was ignored by the boys as they continued eating. Frowning, the girls stepped closer to the Eds, and struck poses, hoping to gain their attention.

"Notice anything different, little man?" Lee asked Eddy, puffing her hair.

"Check out my perfume, Ed…" May giggled, squeezing between Edd and Ed.

"Enjoying yourself, Double D?" Marie asked, fluffing the pillow he was resting on.

"Excuse me, but please don't touch me while I'm eating." Double D said.

The three girls fumed as they got up. They smacked the food out of the Eds' hands.

"Alright, enough's enough. Ya gotta earn yer keep around here!" Lee snapped.

"What?" Eddy questioned.

"You heard her! Y'think you're gonna eat and sleep here for free? Nothing doin' pal!" Marie said.

"Well, um… ah… what would you have us do?" Double D asked.

"You're gonna clean this place up is what yer gonna do!" May said, folding her arms.

The Eds, afraid of incurring the wrath of the three girls before them, got to cleaning up the place. They dusted the shelves, swept the floors, cleaned the dishes using water drawn from the well, pulled weeds up from the front of the house, which was rather run down on the outside as well. It was obvious the girls had just moved in, probably no longer than a few hours ago.

"This is bullshit. We're out here doing chores for girls we barely even know, and Kevin's probably out somewhere getting lucky with Nazz." Eddy muttered.

Meanwhile, back where Kevin's group was located… Kevin and Nazz heard a loud growling noise.

"What was that?" he asked, getting up off of the log.

"You don't think it was a monster, did you?" Nazz asked, grabbing onto Kevin's arm.

"Nah, there's no monsters around here. And if they were, I'd kick their asses." he said, flexing, "What do you think it was, Rolf?"

Kevin looked over to where Rolf was, and to his surprise, the son of a shepherd was hunched over, holding his head, breathing heavily.

"Yo Rolf, you alright, man?" he asked.

"Yeah dude… Let's get you some help." Nazz offered.

Rolf got up, cracking his neck, back, and arms. He turned his head slowly, wearing an abnormally sinister grin on his face, his eyes holding a glimmer of madness.

"Rolf is okay… just fine in fact!" he chuckled darkly.

Kevin and Nazz backed up, unnerved by the boy's strange behavior.

"Rolf is… just a little hungry. That's all. Oh yes… succulent breasts, thighs, and legs for Rolf…" he glared at Nazz, licking his lips.

"Dude, what?" she shrieked, holding her arms over her chest. "I know you're hungry and tired, but that's no excuse to be a perv!"

"Don't worry, talking turkey… it shall be over soon!" Rolf yelled, charging at his two friends.

"Shit! Nazz, let's book it!" Kevin ordered, grabbing Nazz by the arm and running headlong into the woods.

They ran as far as their legs would take them, crashing through bushes, low hanging branches scratching at their faces, trying as hard as they could to escape their now incredibly demented friend. Rolf scampered on all fours, perfectly navigating his way throughout the woods despite his condition, cackling wildly as he had them in his sight. He let out a howl of anticipation as he chased his prey.

"Run, turkeys run! Rolf enjoys the hunt!" he laughed.

Eddy had enough at this point. They had wanted him to clean the nearby outhouse, of all things! That was where he had drawn the line. He stormed back into the house, where the Kankers were sitting. They got up, seeing the small boy glaring at them.

"What is this? You clean the outhouse yet?!" Lee asked, folding her arms.

"Hell no, I ain't cleanin' yer stinkin' outhouse! You can kiss my ass, bitch!" he shouted.

"You ungrateful little bastard!" she shouted back, snapping her fingers, "Get 'em girls!"

They got up, grabbing Eddy. He screamed, which caught the ears of Ed and Double D.

"Ed! That sounds like Eddy! He's probably in trouble!" Double D said, as the two rushed in the house.

As the two boys stepped inside, they were hit in the head with frying pans, knocking them out cold. As they woke up, they found themselves tied up with rope to a chair.

"After all we do for you boys, and this is how you do us." Lee said.

"We tend to you, cook for you, and all we ask for is that you just clean up around the house." Marie said.

"You've been terrible guests, boys." May said.

After running for a while, Kevin and Nazz found themselves in front of the Kanker hideout!

"Hey Nazz, check it out. We can hide in there!" Kevin pointed.

"Doesn't somebody live there?"

"Nah, this place looks pretty crappy and rundown. There's no way somebody would live in a dump like this."

"If you say so. Alright, let's go."

Kevin kicked down the door, only to find the three Kankers standing over the tied up Eds!

"What in the hell is goin' on here?" he asked.

"Ed? Double D? Eddy?" Nazz questioned.

"Guys, you gotta save us! They're friggin' nuts!" Eddy pleaded.

"We're not in Kansas anymore!" Ed said.

"Hey! Get the hell outta here, before we beat the crap outta ya!" Lee said, punching her palm.

The three girls slowly advanced towards Kevin and Nazz. Nazz got into a stance, her eyes narrowed.

"Step back or you get my foot in your asses! I still remember that 'bimbo' crack!" she threatened.

"Whoa…" Kevin and the three Eds said, dumbfounded.

"Whatever! Get 'em girls!" Lee ordered.

Before the fight could begin, Rolf broke through the window, landing in between Nazz and the three girls. He looked up, seething, with saliva dripping from his maniacal grin onto his grizzled face.

"Peek-a-boo, turkeys! Rolf sees you…" he cackled.

"Dear lord, what happened to Rolf?" Double D asked.

"He's gone insane from hunger!" Kevin replied.

"Oh dear…" Double D said in response.

Rolf cackled as he saw giant food surrounding him. There was a roast turkey with blonde hair and a roast duck wearing a hat. A slab of goat, fried chicken, and a steamed fish with a cap, all three tied up to a chair for some reason. There was also a rabbit, a boar flank with red hair, and a blue haired slice of venison. He licked his lips, and rubbed his hands together.

"Rolf will feast tonight…" He laughed.

He tore off his shirt, revealing an unusually muscular torso covered in hair, and howled. He slowly glanced back down at everyone, grinning madly and cackling.

"Yes, Rolf will indeed feast tonight…" he said.

"Uh oh! This guy's gone crazy!" May said, backing up, holding on to Marie.

"Whatever." Lee said, cracking her knuckles. She stepped towards Rolf, who pounced on the girl with surprising speed.

"Oh god! Get him offa me!" Lee screamed, "He's bitin' my ear!"

May and Marie ran to their sister's aid, trying to prevent the now insane Rolf from eating their sister. As they struggled with him, Kevin whipped out his knife and cut the Eds free.

"Oh man, thanks, Kevin!" Eddy said.

"Yes. Thank you for your assistance, Kevin." Double D nodded.

"Ed is free!"

"Yeah, yeah, alright already! You guys know where they put our stuff?" Kevin asked.

"I haven't a clue? Perhaps while they are distracted with… ahem… Rolf's current state of mind, we could search the house." Double D offered.

"Good idea, D." Nazz replied.

The Peach Creek gang searched every inch of the house, until they found a locked door, with the words, "STAY OUT, OR DIE" carved into it. After several attempts to pick the door, they decided to knock it down… using their new muscle. Ed charged at the door and knocked it off its hinges. They all stepped inside, finding a large chest with the word, "LOOT" written crudely on it. They also noticed several poorly drawn pictures of the Kankers hugged up with the Eds.

"Yo guys, looks like you got some admirers." Kevin quipped.

"Can we just get our shit and leave?" Eddy snapped.

After putting their clothes back on (they were in their swimwear), they came back into the room where Rolf was still trying to eat Lee, who because of his hunger caused delirium, was under the impression that she was a flank of boar. They began to leave, as Double D stopped.

"Guys, we just can't leave them or Rolf here like this. It will be quite messy." Double D pleaded.

"What? After what they did to us? Forget them, Sock-Head!" Eddy replied.

"But Eddy!"

"Ugh… alright."

The three Eds dug around until they found the remains of the sandwiches in the trash.

"Aw gross, man!" Kevin said.

"Rolf! Look what we have for ya, big guy." Eddy said in a singsong voice.

Rolf looked up, stopping his attempt to eat Lee to see the sandwiches in the Eds' hands. He quickly dashed over to them and before they could blink, he stuffed them in his mouth, devouring them instantly. By some strange happening, Rolf's facial hair disappeared, and the madness in his face dissipated. He stood there, patting his belly.

"Nary a worthy meal, but fulfilling nonetheless," he commented, looking around, "Where is Rolf?"

"Never mind that, man! We gotta get the hell outta here!" Kevin said.

The Peach Creek gang ran out of the Kankers' hideout, leaving the sisters dazed and confused.

"Those boys are so cute!" Lee said, laughing.

"They'll be back." Marie said.

"They're so dreamy." May swooned.

The three girls smiled as they closed the door, waiting for the day when they would be reunited with their soon to be boyfriends. The Peach Creek gang, especially Ed, Edd, and Eddy, would never forget this day as long as they lived.


End file.
